Prone to excess? Terrence Higgins Trust’s Gordon Mundie - on how to start claiming back control of one’s drug or alcohol intake; and how a series of workshops might just help.

At THT, we regularly see men concerned about their drink or drug use. For some reason they feel that they have lost control. Alcohol, ketamine, cannabis and cocaine seem to be most commonly used, but we also see men in our drug and alcohol group who feel they have problems with Crystal Meth and GHB.

Some have been using one drug or another most of their adult lives.

The most important early step is for the person themselves to establish why they feel they have a problem. It’s not for me, or anyone else, to decide this for them.

We tend to see men when they’re asking questions like:
• Isn’t there more to life? Why can’t I break this cycle?
• How come my friends can control their drinking or drug-taking but I struggle with mine?
• Is there another “gay life” besides the scene?
• If I make changes, what will fill the felt emptiness left behind?

Basically, after years spent doing the same thing, many men are left asking if it’s time for a change.

For some, their first - and maybe only - experience of gay life is the bright lights and sexual playground of the scene. Alternatives can seem hard to imagine, or just plain boring - especially if you feel controlled by a habit that’s getting hard to kick. A social life revolving around the gay scene - plus friends who don’t understand what the problem is - just adds to the shame and guilt.

Sexual issues often go hand-in-hand with an escalating drug and/or alcohol problem, with a big knock-on effect. In the group, we look at worries about drink or drugs in the wider context, including how they impact on jobs, relationships and health. Drugs or drink might also be helping to blot out things people would rather not face up to, such as feelings about being gay, family and childhood, getting older or dealing with HIV.

Men can be scared that, if they ask for our help, they’ll be instructed to give up the booze or drugs. Our service is actually about giving men choices - providing a safe, non-judgmental and supportive space to explore drinking or drug-taking with people who know the score. It’s up to the individual to then decide whether the next step for them is cutting down; getting more control over how much they use; or stopping completely.

Terrence Higgins Trust’s drugs/alcohol group is called ‘Are you losing control?’. For more information call 020 7812 1773 or email groupworklondon@tht.org.uk

Adrian Gillan